Our Adventures In MiddleEarth
by halfelfgirl
Summary: Something me and Lady Excalibur threw together. We end up in MiddleEarth and attempt to drive Elrond, Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf and many others round the bend. Rated M for language on Lady Excalibur's part, not me, i don't swear
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Lord of the Rings.

A/N: This story was a random idea that appeared during a conversation between me (Emma) and my best friend, Lady Excalibur (Kayleigh). As a matter of fact, she's writing this for me because I don't have the patience. The two main characters are actually us but this is written in the third person.

Chapter 1

Never Mess With Magic

Emma sat at her computer desk adding the final touches to a spell she had been working on for two days. Her best friend, Kayleigh, was coming round and this would be the first spell they ever cast together. Both girls had an interest in spell-casting but had never actually tried it. Usually their weekends were spent at re-enactments or practice, but this weekend was a three day weekend and they had a whole extra day to play with. Satisfied that the spell was finished, Emma took a quick glance around her room. Since her brother had gone off the University and her sister had moved into his room, Emma finally had space to herself. There were drawers down one wall containing various items, a computer in the corner and her bunkbed. Her Lord of the Rings posters were around the top bunk, though the Fellowship movie poster had a piece of blutack over Legolas' face. It was a longstanding joke that Emma thought he looked at her funny. Just then she heard the front door open and someone yell, "Oi, half-elf girl, get down here and help me with these things!" Emma ran from her room and down the stairs, narrowly avoiding her dad's spears.

Kayleigh was stood at the bottom of the stairs with two large bags. One was overnight stuff, the other her costume for re-enactment. While Emma had been doing re-enactments most of her life, Kayleigh was still fairly new at it, though her throwing arm was something to be reckoned with. Emma preferred archery while Kayleigh was pretty good with swords and axes. The girls seemed the most unlikely of friends. Emma was a fanatic about anything supernatural where Kayleigh was a pirate-loving Goth. Emma was happy wearing pretty t-shirts and jeans; Kayleigh was usually a mass of fishnets, eyeliner and studs. Like today, she was wearing a black jeans with chains on them, a black t-shirt, a blazer that was suspiciously similar to her school one, her black HIM beanie hat, black Converse which had left and right written on them, fingerless gloves, a black studded wrist strap and a Pirate of the Caribbean replica medallion. Her eyeshadow was black and she had masses of black eyeliner on. Emma however was wearing a purple long sleeved t-shirt, jeans, her boots and a triquertra necklace. She didn't have any make-up on. One thing connected the girls; they had both dyed their hair black. Their re-enactment captain was constantly having a go at them over it; it didn't look authentic when one of your archers' roots didn't match the rest of her hair apparently. Kayleigh usually got away with it as she always wore a helmet except for one time. Kayleigh had gone to the Download festival at Donnington for the first time with her cousin and several other 'metal-head' friends including ones known as Big Gay Joe and Matt the Big Scary Goth. She had come to practice the following week and their captain, Steve, had nearly had a heart attack. Kayleigh had come back with lime-green hair. Thankfully the dye had washed out a few weeks later and it was back to black. Kayleigh never had the patience to leave her hair its natural colour for more than three weeks. She hated her natural hair colour, a mousy brown-ginger catastrophe.

"Well?" she asked, "Are you gonna stand there all day or are you gonna help me?" Emma grinned and half-ran down the stairs. She grabbed Kayleigh's overnight bag, knowing it was the lighter of the two. The two girls went upstairs to Emma's room.

"Your love is a razorblade kiss!!!" Kayleigh sang out of tune. Emma just laughed. Kayleigh was if anything predictable. Her life consisted of three things; eating, sleeping and members of the opposite sex, including Ville Valo. Hell, depending on how drunk she was, it didn't have to be members of the opposite sex. After two or three pints, Amy Lee from Evanescence became the hottest thing on the planet to Kayleigh and it would take a semi-naked picture of Joey Jordison to bring her back to being straight for the evening! But her wandering sexuality aside, Kayleigh was dependable most of the time. They threw Kayleigh's bags on the floor and dropped onto the bottom bunk which was made to look like a sofa.

"Where are we going again?" asked Kayleigh.

"Rockingham," said Emma, "Remember your first show?"

"What? Where Aidy, Shaun, your dad and the others started talking about erections and masturbating in front of me?" Emma nodded.

"The one where you confiscated my phone and let your dad answer it when Chris rang?" Emma nodded again.

"The one where the saxons shield-charged the cowboys with the Indians and I drank all the rum?" Emma nodded a third time.

"No, can't remember a thing, except for those sodding toilets," said Kayleigh. She opened her over night bag and pulled out a big bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Hello, my lover," she said, pulling off the lid and taking a swig before replacing it.

"We've got half an hour before Dad gets back," said Emma, "Want to mess with magic?" Kayleigh nodded excitedly. Emma got out the stuff and put her bag that had her kit and regular clothes in it. She also put on her quiver. Kayleigh looked at her quizzically. "You never know, it might actually work," she said. Kayleigh grinned and grabbed her bags. Emma set up the four candles, facing north, south, east and west. She sat down. She also wore a homemade black cape, for a real witchy effect. Kayleigh sat down opposite her. Emma held out her hands, palm up. Kayleigh placed her hands over Emma's. A wave of giggles over took both of them. They waited until the giggles had stopped and then sat up straight. "Ready?" asked Emma. Kayleigh nodded. Both girls closed their eyes so they couldn't set each other off giggling again. Emma cleared her throat and the girls chanted together, "Hear my words, hear my cry, spirits beyond my sight, take us where we desire to be, show us what we desire to see!" Kayleigh opened one eye then the other, Emma opened hers too. "Told ya it wouldn't work," said Kayleigh. Suddenly the ground began to shake.

"What the hell? An earthquake?" she said.

"Come on, GCSE Geography, Kayleigh," said Emma, "We're not supposed to feel earthquakes let alone get ones this strong." The shaking became so violent that Kayleigh fell backward. She hit the floor. But it wasn't the wooden floorboards of her bedroom. It was rough, bumpy and felt like cold stone. She sat up straight away. It was pitch black. She couldn't see a thing. Suddenly something grabbed her. She screamed. "Relax it's just me," said Emma's voice in the darkness, "Where are we?"

"I have no idea," replied Kayleigh. She looked around but could see nothing but darkness. Then a deep heavy gurgling noise. Kayleigh grabbed Emma's arm.

"Did you hear that?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Emma, "What is it?" Then there was a deep rumbling noise, like an earthquake. The gurgling stopped and something ran about six feet past them. The place they were in seemed to be getting lighter. "What is going on?" asked Emma as both girls got to their feet. Soon there was enough light for the girls to see they were in some kind of hall, they were surrounded by huge stone archways. The light was coming from the far end of the hall, through a doorway. It was big, bright and orange. Almost like flames except there was no smoke. Then huge claws that looked like they were made from hot rocks seized the door and ripped it away. It revealed a huge monster, surrounded by flames. It's head had horns like a ram's and looked like one of the skulls the girls had seen in a museum of early humans. The monster let out an almighty roar. Kayleigh seized Emma's hand and did the first thing that came to mind…she ran. Pulling her friend along behind her, Kayleigh ran. It wasn't easy with the kit bags and weapons and not knowing where she was going and the only light coming from that monster meant this was incredibly stupid. If it went dark she would get even more lost, if it was light, it meant she would probably get caught. The girls ran over thin bridges and up and down stairs desperate for a way out. They went down one set of stairs to discover dozens of skeletons of what looked like children and a dead end. "Oh man, we are so screwed," said Kayleigh. "No, wait!" said Emma, "Look, there's a seam here, it's a door."

"Errr, look for a button or switch or something," said Kayleigh. It was starting to get lighter, meaning the monster wasn't far away. The girls pulled at the cobwebs covering the sides of the door. "Got it!" said Kayleigh. She pressed in a stone which had an inscription on it, only for the stone to come out with her hand. "You broke it?!" said Emma. Kayleigh stared at the stone in her hand and then at the door. It was beginning to creak open. There was a roar. The beast wasn't far away. "Not now," said Kayleigh and she pushed Emma through the gap in the door and quickly followed. She through the broken stone to one side and both she and Emma pushed the great stone doors and shut them. They felt something strike the door on the other side but it held fast.

Now the girls were outside, they could see that it was early morning. There was a narrow mud path leading around a huge pool of water. Emma was sat on the steps by the door, panting. Kayleigh didn't even stop, she immediately followed the path. "Where are you going?" asked Emma.

"To find civilisation," said Kayleigh, "You can just sit there if you like and wait for that thing to break out if you want." She carried on walking. Emma pondered for a moment and then yelled, "Hey, w…w…wait for me!" She followed Kayleigh down the path. After a few hours walking the girls emerged from their rocky surroundings into brilliant sunshine. Kayleigh looked behind her and saw they were emerging from a mountain range. She turned and carried on walking. There was grass and plenty of it. "Oh boy," she said. There was no river or road with which to guess a route. "Which way?" said Emma.

"I have no idea," said Kayleigh, "Flip a coin?"

"Ok," said Emma. She rummaged in her bag. She came up empty handed.

"No purse?" said Kayleigh, "We'll have to use this." She took off her Pirates medallion. "Heads or death?" she said jokingly. Emma frowned.

"Fine then," said Kayleigh, "Skull, we go that way, funky looking pattern the other way." Emma nodded. Kayleigh flipped the medallion. It landed on the dry, yellow grass, skull facing up. "North it is," said Kayleigh, picking it up.

"How do you know that's north?" asked Emma.

"I don't, I'm guessing," said Kayleigh. Emma sighed and followed. They came to the top of a hill. "Wow, pretty," said Emma. They could see for miles but still no sign of civilisation. "Great," said Kayleigh. She carried on walking. Walking, they did a lot of that. Thankfully, Emma had a bottle of lemonade in her bag as well as Kayleigh's JD. It stopped them from getting too dehydrated but meant a lot of toilet stops for both of them. They were smart girls and soon learnt how to set up a camp fire at night and to take turns sleeping while the other kept a watch. They were in the middle of nowhere with no idea of what animals were around. Emma's cloak made a very good blanket and the big bars of chocolate she had stuffed in her bag, originally intended for a midnight feast, went someway in satisfying their hunger. They tried to ration it. They had come across a pure clean brook which provided enough water to drink when the lemonade ran out, but eventually their favourite treat, their only food, began to run short. Within a week of escaping the beast, they were out of food. To make matters worse, on their ninth night out in the wild, it rained. They took shelter under some rocks, tired from carrying bags and weapons which were too valued to be left behind, and pulled Emma's cloak over their heads. "Do you think we'll ever get home?" asked Kayleigh, her strength, both mental and physical about to give way on her.

"I don't know," said Emma, no doubt the stronger of the two, "Get some sleep, I'll keep an eye out." Kayleigh leaned back against the rock and closed her eyes. Emma could see nothing in the black rain. Just shadows. At one point she thought she saw people. As the storm raged on, the shadows started to look like people more and more. One looked like it was moving towards them. A light began to appear and a second person-shaped shadow appeared as if carrying it. "I must be going mad," she said. The shadows came closer and closer. "That's it?" she whispered to herself, "Nine days in the wild, and I've gone completely batty." Eventually the two shadows turned into people. Two men, identical, one holding a lamp. They half ran over to Emma and Kayleigh. One of them spoke to her in some language she didn't understand. His voice was calm and very soothing. She felt her eyes grow heavy. She had to shut them. Her vision blurred as her eyelids closed and she fell asleep like her friend. The two men looked down at the two girls. "Talo hi," said one, "Bado na Ada."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We're not in Kansas anymore

Emma groaned and buried her face in the pillow.

"Holy fucking shit!" she heard a voice yell. 'Kayleigh's awake,' her mind thought lazily. She opened one eye. Wait a minute, this wasn't her room. As a matter of fact, it didn't look like anywhere she'd ever been before. She sat up and looked around. Her bag and quiver were lying on a chair near the foot of her bed. Suddenly a door opened and Kayleigh wandered in with an even more bemused expression than usual.

"What the fuck?" she muttered to herself before noticing Emma. Emma tried not to laugh. Kayleigh was wearing a nightdress. Kayleigh NEVER wore dresses of any kind unless there was some kind of formal ball or she wasn't taking part in any battles that day.

"I guess we're not in fucking Kansas anymore Toto," she said sarcastically before disappearing through the door she had come through.

"Get dressed," she snapped, "We're getting the hell out of here!" Emma jumped up and started getting dressed. Her clothes had been cleaned and she was suspicious. Who had found them? Was she dead? Was she dreaming? Kayleigh came back a few moments later, dressed in her usual ensemble of all black. They were just about to head out the large double door at the other end of the room when it opened. The girls froze. Three men walked in. One was old and grey, the other one was younger one and had dark hair.

"Ah, greetings young ladies, I am glad to see the twins were not too late in saving you," said the old man, "May I ask your names?"

"Emma," said Emma faintly.

"I'm Kayleigh Simcox, who the hell are you?" said Kayleigh. Emma elbowed her.

"Such spirit in one so small," chuckled the dark haired man.

"Hey!" snapped Kayleigh, "You think it's funny taking the piss out of me for my height? Jesus, looked in the mirror lately? When you were born, who did the doctors slap? You or your mother?"

"Kayleigh!" snapped Emma.

"What?" said Kayleigh.

"When you're done insulting Lord Elrond," continued the old man, "I am Gandalf."

"Wait, did you say Gandalf?" said Kayleigh. Emma saw Kayleigh's eyes widen and her mouth open. She grabbed her arm. "Excuse us for just one minute," she said and she dragged Kayleigh into the other room.

"Oh! My! God!" shouted Kayleigh.

"Will you keep your voice down?" hissed Emma.

"But this is…and they are…"

"I know," said Emma, "We're in Middle-Earth."

"Wait, we know what's going to happen!" said Kayleigh, "We can help them. Make things better."

"No!" hissed Emma, "It's called a time line. You're not supposed to change the future. Hello, remember watching Charmed?"

"But…Boromir…"

"Will still die," said Emma in a very low voice, "We cannot change anything." Kayleigh made a whining noise before sighing in defeat.

"Alright you win, I won't mess with the time line," she muttered.

"Good girl," said Emma and the two went back into the room where they found Elrond and Gandalf were stood waiting.

"As seen as the two of you are dressed, follow us," said Elrond.

"Why?" asked Emma.

"We need to find out whether you are friend or foe," replied Elrond.

"Well I can tell you for a fact that Emma can be your friend," said Kayleigh, "As for me, well it depends on how nice you are to me." She grinned insanely. Emma nudged in the side with her elbow.

"What?" she asked.

"Play nice," said Emma. Gandalf and Elrond led them to a study. They indicated for the girls to sit on two chairs. Then Gandalf raised his staff.

"This won't hurt, I promise," he said, "You won't be able to tell what I see."

"Er, ok, but I cannot guarantee you won't see naked people," said Kayleigh. Gandalf raised an eyebrow. He pressed the tip of his staff to Emma's forehead. He closed his eyes. What he saw was the picture of calmness and serenity. A wide open field with a lone white rabbit hopping about. It hopped onto a path…and was promptly run over by an eighteen-wheeler lorry. Gandalf stepped away from her, half-scared. He then looked suspiciously at Kayleigh. She had a blank look on her face. He took a deep breath and placed the tip of his staff on her forehead. It was dark, almost pitch black. Then there was a maniacal scream and a bright light came on somewhere. Now he could see, Gandalf saw a crowd, all dressed in black, running towards him. They didn't stop, they pushed against him, squeezing him, crushing him and there didn't seem to be an end to them. He withdrew but not before a voice whispered, "I can see you!"

Gandalf looked at the two girls. That's all they were, girls, they weren't even nineteen years old. They seemed harmless enough, if not slightly twisted.

"They're friendly," he said to Lord Elrond, "May I suggest a change in attire for the young ladies?" Elrond nodded and left.

"Return to your rooms, someone will bring you some more clothes," said Gandalf. The girls turned and left. The second the doors were closed, the pair burst into laughter. "What did you think?" choked Kayleigh.

"The bunny isn't moving!" screamed Emma, "You?"

"My mates running at him, screaming!" gasped Kayleigh. The pair straightened themselves up and walked back to their rooms, giggling to themselves. Emma found a lilac tunic, black trousers and some brown shoes waiting on her bed. It went perfectly with her silver triquatra necklace. She'd just fastened her belt when the door opened and Kayleigh came in. She had a green tunic instead of a purple one. "I swear these elves are mind readers," she said, "Want to go explore?"

"Yeah!" said Emma. They went outside into the gardens. It was mid morning and pleasantly warm. As they explored the gardens, they came across a woman, an elf, sat on a stone bench, gazing at the river, holding a small rose in her hand. She looked sad. She looked up when the girls got too close.

"You must be the two girls my brothers found," she said softly. Emma nodded.

"Come, sit with me, I could use some female companionship," she continued. The two girls sat with her.

"Tell me, what are your names?" asked the elf.

"I'm Emma," said Emma, "And this is Kayleigh." The elf smiled.

"I am Arwen, Lord Elrond is my father," said the elf.

"Did Aragorn give you that rose?" asked Kayleigh.

"How did you know?" asked Arwen.

"Oh, darling, please, EVERYONE knows about that," said Kayleigh, "It's blatantly obvious. Plus you keep looking west, towards Bree, where Gandalf sent him."

"You know too much for someone who's been unconscious for two weeks," said Arwen.

"Two weeks?!" said Kayleigh, "Wait, what date is it today?"

"It is the tenth day of June," said Arwen.

"Ah, man, I missed my birthday!" said Kayleigh.

"How many summers have you seen?" asked Arwen.

"Huh? Oh, I'm nineteen," replied Kayleigh. Arwen smiled and looked at the rose again.

"If it makes you feel any better, he'll be back in four months," said Emma softly.

"It does," said Arwen.

4 months later...

"Kayleigh, go to sleep!" shouted Emma at the open door between their two rooms. Kayleigh was sat on the windowsill of her room, staring out at the west gate of Rivendell.

"Can't sleep, not tonight," she muttered.

"Why?" demanded Emma, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Glorfindel left Rivendell eleven days ago, Gandalf got here the day before yesterday," said Kayleigh, "Frodo's on his way."

"Shit, you're right," said Emma. Kayleigh lifted her head up as she heard a horse and someone shouting in Elvish.

"Time to go," said Kayleigh, getting up. Emma quickly got dressed and they ran to the wing of the house where the wounded were treated. So many people were running in that direction, they knew it was right. They were almost at the room when Glorfindel came out. He was a heavily built elf and almost seven feet in height. He grabbed Emma and Kayleigh and pulled them away.

"How is he? Is he ok?" asked Kayleigh.

"He'll survive," said Glorfindel, "Now I need to talk to you both." He dragged the girls to a private room. He made them sit down and folded his arms.

"I know Lord Elrond and Gandalf have not questioned you as to where you have come from," he said, "But what I want to know is how you knew exactly where I would find Frodo, the nature of his injuries, his companions and the trinket he has in his possession."

"Kayleigh!" shouted Emma.

"I couldn't help it, it was getting too close to when he was supposed to leave and Elrond wasn't doing anything," said Kayleigh, "We couldn't wait until Gandalf got here, it would have been too late. I had to tell someone!"

"What about..."

"The timeline, that's the problem, the timeline wasn't happening right, I had to intervene!" said Kayleigh.

"Timeline?" asked Glorfindel, "What are you talking about?"

"Look, where we come from..."

"We can't tell him!" said Emma, "Look, Glorfindel, you're gonna have to trust us on this! We may know about certain events before they happen. Just trust us." Glorfindel sighed and rubbed his head.

"You two are giving me grey hair," he said.

"Can we see?" asked Kayleigh.

"No!" said Glorfindel, "Now out!" He escorted the girls back to their rooms.

"The others will be here tomorrow," said Kayleigh as she lay on her bed, "Boromir will be here on the 24th."

"Yeah," said Emma, "Now go to sleep."

The girls woke up at midday the next morning. They dragged themselves out of bed and dressed. They could hear commotion coming from the kitchen as they went in to ask for some food, having missed two meals.

"Imagine letting those dwarves in!" said Arbellason, the head cook to his novice Sidhion, "Now we have to prepare some unsavoury meat dishes, though I doubt the humans will complain!"

"Dwarves, Gimli," Emma whispered to Kayleigh.

"And poor Prince Legolas has to sit next to them at dinner tonight as they are all guests of Lord Elrond," said Arbellason.

"Legolas!" whispered Kayleigh. The two girls left the kitchen in search of the new arrivals. They weren't in the guest quarters, or the gardens, or the library, or in Elrond's study. The last place the girls checked was the armoury; their weapons had been sharpened and stored here.

"Now this is a fine axe," said a gruff voice, "No doubt one of ours." The girls peered round the corner. They were examining Kayleigh's axe.

"We should take it back then, no elf would wield a dwarvish axe," said another dwarf.

"Oh no you don't!" shouted Kayleigh, marching around the corner and pulling the axe out of the hands of the surprised dwarf, "Mine!"

"It's yours?" said the dwarf, "How did a wee girl such as you come into possession of a dwarvish axe?"

"It's not dwarvish," she said, "Look, there's no decoration on the handle. Dwarves would have decorated it." The dwarf was about to speak when the other spoke.

"Leave it Gimli, she's not worth it," he said. Gimli grunted and left. The girls watched. "What did he want my axe for?" asked Kayleigh.

"Maybe it's a guy thing," suggested Emma, "After all, your axe is way bigger than his."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Wake up, Emma, wake up," hissed a small voice. Emma opened one eye. Kayleigh was up, dressed.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Today's the day, the council," said Kayleigh. Emma sat up.

"Yeah, according to the timeline," said Emma, "But YOU had to send Glorfindel out, they may have changed the day."

"Pfft, not likely," said Kayleigh, "Besides Elrond's been running around like that pole has been rammed even further up his backside than usual."

"You sure?" said Emma.

"Too busy to even tell me to go back to my room," she replied, "Plus, I saw some guards heading towards the council chamber. Told you it was a good idea to find the thing three months in advance."

"Alright I'm up," said Emma.

15 minutes later, Emma was dressed. The two girls poked their heads out the door. No one was around. "See?" said Kayleigh, "Bring the One Ring to Rivendell and they forget about the two girls from an alternate reality." Emma nodded. They left the room and headed in the opposite direction of the council chamber. After a couple of corridors they stood beside a statue of an Elvish warrior. They waited as a couple of elves walked past. As soon as the coast was clear, they moved the statue and slipped into the hole behind it. Once inside, they pulled the statue back. There was a tree growing in the wall. The girls set about climbing up it. They'd found this by accident. After pulling the classic 'bucket-of-water-on-top-of-a-door-frame' prank on the twins, the girls had ended up on the roof of Elrond's house and discovered trees growing through the roof. They had spent the following week, mapping out where all the trees lead to. They reached the roof and started crawling back towards the chamber. Luckily, there was a flat bit of roof above the balcony overlooking the council chamber. The girls lay on their stomachs and listened in on what was being said. They could hear general mutterings. The council hadn't started yet. Then there was the rustle of cloth.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor," spoke Elrond. The girls were immediately silent.

"Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall," continued Elrond, "Each race is bound to this fate...this one doom." There was a pause. The girls didn't dare move.

"Bring forth the Ring, Frodo," said Elrond. An eerie chill came over the girls. Even more so on Kayleigh. She was shaking. Emma couldn't take her eyes off her friend. Kayleigh's eyes were closed but she was starting to move towards the council chamber. Boromir was talking. Kayleigh was now 

up on all fours and crawling towards the edge of the roof. Emma tried to grab Kayleigh's tunic but she was too far away. Kayleigh had reached the edge of the roof and was standing up. Emma got up on her hands and knees, trying to reach Kayleigh and pull her back. But it was too late. She'd flung her arms out and was stepping off the roof.

"No!" Emma screamed as Kayleigh stepped off the roof. She scrambled to the edge. Kayleigh was on the table in the centre of the chamber. She was crouched down, touching the Ring. Everyone was staring at Kayleigh, except for Gandalf who was looking at Emma. Gandalf nodded at Emma and raised his staff. Emma stood up and stepped off the roof and Gandalf used his magic to help her down. Now on ground level, she could see Kayleigh's eyes were closed. She rolled her head from side to side on her shoulders. Emma felt Gandalf hold her back as Kayleigh's eyes opened. Except they weren't Kayleigh's eyes anymore. They were orange and flickered like flames.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul," she said, "Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them!" Gandalf stood in front of Emma and struck Kayleigh on the back of the head, knocking her unconscious.

"It is as I feared," said Gandalf, "The effects of the Ring are starting to be felt. This one is just the first."

"Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue in Imladris," said Elrond.

"I shall not beg your pardon for her, for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West," said Gandalf as two elves pulled Kayleigh off the table and sat her by a pole. Emma hurried over to her. She was out cold. What had happened? Gandalf and Elrond hadn't seemed too shocked, they knew something.

"And what would a Ranger know of this matter?" said Boromir. Emma didn't pay attention to what was being said. Suddenly there was a crash. Kayleigh's once still body suddenly twisted painfully and she screamed. Elrond spoke of how the Ring had to be destroyed in Mordor.

"It is ever more urgent that it leaves Rivendell," said Elrond, "For the sakes of the young ones."

Kayleigh opened her eyes and was very unnerved by the sight of armed guards. She looked around. Gandalf, Elrond and the rest of the Fellowship stood around her bed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You honestly have no idea?" snarled Boromir.

"Why are you here? Why are there guards here? What is that smell?"

"To answer your first question, I believe you may be linked to the One Ring," said Gandalf.

"You haven't been smoking that stuff me and Emma found in the woods, have you?" she asked, "Because i told you, i wasn't sure it was good for smoking."



"I haven't touched it," said Gandalf.

"You spoke in the Black Tongue," said Emma.

"Really? Cool!"

"No, not cool!" said Emma.

"Your eyes," said Boromir, "They glowed like the great eye of Sauron."

"Cool!"

"I don't think we're going to be able to convince her that this is a bad thing," said Emma.

"I think you're right," said Elrond, "From now on, there will be guards with you two day and night. You will not be allowed out of your room, except for two hours daily in the gardens."

"What?!" said Emma.

"No fair!" said Kayleigh.

"Better post some guards below their windows too," said Gandalf.

"Spoil sport," said Emma.

"If Sauron can take over Kayleigh, he can discover all of our plans as we make them," said Gandalf, "What she knows, he knows."

"So he knows the complete injury list for all nine members of Slipknot," said Emma, "Face it, Gandalf. Sauron now knows a bunch of stuff he really isn't interested in. He will now be burdened with the random images of naked men that occasionally appear in there."

"I'm mentally undressing someone right now," said Kayleigh, giving the thumbs up.

"I'm actually beginning to pity Sauron," said Emma.

"Guards outside your doors and windows, two hours outside each day," said Elrond.

"We can't spend that much time together, we'll kill each other!" said Kayleigh, "Can you send someone else in each day, so we have little variety and can complain to someone about each other?"

"One of the Fellowship will be allowed in each day," said Elrond.

"Joy!" said Kayleigh sarcastically, "We have a choice of dumb, dumb, dumb, weirdo, smelly, ugly, dirty, old and blondie."

"Who's ugly?" asked Pippin.

"Not you darling, you're gorgeous," said Kayleigh.

"I think we're beginning to discover why you were brought here," said Gandalf.



"Because we messed with magic?" suggested Emma

"No," said Gandalf.

"We're linked to the ring," said Kayleigh, "If the Ring gets stronger, as will I."

"Oh that was deep," said Emma.

"I know!" said Kayleigh, "This knowledge thing, it's two-way, Sauron is seriously twisted...he's almost as bad as Adie!"

"Sauron's not as bad as Adie?"

"If Sauron was as bad as Adie, when he possessed me, he would have grabbed these," she said, grabbing her chest.

"Oh dear," said Gandalf, looking away.


End file.
